Advice from Mary and Jimmy

QUESTION: I want to go to Germany to visit relatives who still live there. Of course, this trip would have to be after it’s safe to travel. My husband refuses to go. His father fought in Germany during World War II, and he just doesn’t want to be where his father lost his leg.

I think it’s time for him to move on. What do you suggest?

—Hilda

MARY’S ADVICE:

Dear Hilda,

I suggest you wait to talk about it until the opportunity to travel again is real. Then? Maybe order some brochures of where you wish to visit. Talk to your husband and show him some great photos and materials about how peace has long been realized between our countries and how the two countries have long been strong and close allies of each other. Maybe that would give him better feelings about the whole idea.

JIMMY’S ADVICE:

Opt for a visit to Bremen and Dresden, Mainewhich are named for German places—to test them out and save the plane fare. Guten tag!

QUESTION: My wife has grown a substantial wart on her nose. She has had it checked out and it is benign.

Her dermatologist suggests she remove it, but he told her that it’s not important to do so from a health perspective. She has chosen for now to do nothing, but I can’t stand how it looks.

Every time I look at her face, I say to myself, “Mole-ie, mole-ie, mole-ie” and just stare her mole.

I’m thinking of leaving.

—Dennis

MARY’S ADVICE:

I am so sorry this problem disturbs you. You may consider looking into her eyes and remembering the love you have for this woman. The mole does not define her. Your love can overcome this problem. And, don’t forget, she may change her mind and have the procedure, when she is ready. 

JIMMY’S ADVICE:

Do her the biggest favor of all—leave . . . you bum! 

QUESTION: Last week I visited my son and daughter-in-law with their new baby, Charlie. I noticed that my son Billy is afraid to pick up his son. He makes excuses and laughs it off, but there is something wrong. He needs to be part of this baby’s life, and not being able or willing to touch him now is not good.

—Worried Grandma

MARY’S ADVICE:

Dear Grandma . . . You could hold the baby and invite Billy to sit with you. Share with him how much this baby loves and needs him.  But in general this behavior seems to be a problem for your grandson and his wife to figure out. He may be scared the baby could break. Love will win in the end.

JIMMY’S ADVICE:

Back off, Grandma. Charlie is a brand-new baby, and babies are very scary, and fussy, and smelly. They’ll get used to each other. I’m sure your son is sometimes fussy and smelly, too.

QUESTION: We moved to Portland from Ellsworth about a month ago. Already, I can’t take the big city. Too many people and too much noise!

My wife loves it.

I’m thinking of just heading up to the north country and just staying there in a cabin I build for myself. Is something wrong with me? I do love my wife very much, but I’m miserable.

—Paul

MARY’S ADVICE:

All change is difficult, especially at an older age. I suggest you invite your wife out for a country drive. Bring her to a picnic area and sit by the beach. Find an area that’s free of the city bustle. After all, this is Maine! It is mostly country, and you can find your comfort zone within five minutes of Portland if you look for it!

JIMMY’S ADVICE:

Run away, Paul. Head north while you can because if you stay in Portland, you’ll eventually become one of those “too many people” making “too much noise”!

That’s what I did . . . and I miss Portland every single day.

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